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In a recent
study, the National Mental Health Association reported that 10 percent
of college students and 13 percent of college women have been diagnosed
with depression. A University of California at Los Angeles survey found
that more than 30 percent of college freshmen report feeling overwhelmed
a great deal of the time, and that 38 percent of college women report
feeling frequently overwhelmed.
According to the 2005-2006 "State of Our Nation's Youth" report
findings that were released by the Horatio Alger Association in the summer
2005, 41 percent of high school students said that the pressure to get
good grades was a major concern. These numbers have increased by 15 percent
since 2001.
For whatever reason - the need to impress future employers, the pressure
of keeping up with peers or simply meeting self-imposed but unrealistically
high standards - an increasing number of high school and college students
are literally making themselves sick in the pursuit of perfection.
My battle with perfectionism
Unfortunately, I understand all too well the price students pay for measuring
self worth through a number on a test. A perfectionist through my college
years, I'd rather skip an assignment than risk turning in a less-than-perfect
paper. I fantasized about the day I would walk across the stage at my
graduation ceremony and hear my name announced along with "summa
cum laude" - with highest honors. My family would be in the audience
snapping pictures and beaming with pride. By my senior year, that goal
had become an obsession.
When I finally did walk across that stage in 2001, I held back tears with
everything I had in me. They weren't tears of joy, as my professors and
family might have imagined, but of a sick sorrow. The speaker announced,
"Maria L. Pascucci, summa cum laude." I did it - I graduated
with the highest honors possible, but at much too high a psychological
cost.
I had dreamt of being a writer ever since I was old enough to pick up
a pencil and scribble my name, but after I graduated from college, I didn't
write a thing for months. I told my college career counselor that I would
never write again, and I believed that I wouldn't. I was burnt out and
depressed, battling with anxiety-induced stomach problems and certain
that writing had almost destroyed me. Five years later, I understand that
it was perfectionism that almost destroyed me and that my love of writing
helped me to rebuild my life.
When I was a little girl, I'd always tell people, "Someday, when
I grow up, I'll be a writer." When the cap and gown came off, I realized
that society considered me a grown-up whether I felt like one or not,
and that it was the time to make or break my dreams. I didn't think I
could measure up to what that little girl envisioned while sitting on
a porch stoop with her favorite red notebook in hand. It's so much easier
to dream of the end product than to actually see it through.
Anxiety, depression, insomnia
I've suffered stomachaches, insomnia, anxiety and depression from the
unrealistic expectations I'd placed on myself to be the best. Can any
of you relate? At what price should success come? Should we have to sacrifice
our health to be successful? In a word: NO. Once I learned to start defining
success on my own terms and ditched my need to be perfect, I'm more successful
today than ever before. And if I can do it, so can you!
Do you:
• Ever stress about grades?
• Ever find yourself up at night worrying over school?
• Get stomachaches before a big test or paper is due?
How do you deal with the pressure? Do you exercise, spend time with friends,
visit your campus counseling center, talk with your teacher or parents?
Shoot me an email - I'd love
to hear from you!
About the author:
Maria Pascucci is the President of Campus Calm - the award-winning online-forum for today's stressed-out students, and their parents and educators. Download your Student Life Stress-Less Kit with 4 FREE gifts at www.campuscalm.com.
Want to reprint this article in YOUR own website?
You can as long as the article remains complete and unaltered (including
the "about the author" info and link back to
www.campuscalm.com), and you send a copy of your reprint to
maria@campuscalm.com. You're also welcome to use my photo
here.
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