 |
Featured Question for October 04, 2007:
"Is it really possible to graduate
summa cum laude without losing oneself in the process?"
Please install Flash to listen to Maria's comments.
Answer by Maria Pascucci, founder of Campus Calm:
Last week, I received an email from Karen, a 20-year-old college student
from the Philippines. After reading my article, "Summa Cum Laude & Valedictorian:
Are They Worth It?" which can be read here,
she asked the following questions:
1. Is it really possible to graduate summa cum laude without losing
oneself in the process? (Meaning you won't become insanely exhausted
after 4 years.)
2. What pieces of advice would you give to those students (myself included)
who are dead serious about graduating at the top of the class?
Well, first off, I want to thank Karen for writing me! As someone who
did graduate summa cum laude at the top of my class, I can say that we're
certainly motivated and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. If
you have a BIG academic and life goal and if you want to challenge yourself
you should be commended for it!
As far as answering whether it's possible to graduate summa cum laude
without having a meltdown as I did, I think I could answer "yes" provided
you do the following four things:
1. Soul-search the reasons why you want to graduate summa cum laude.
Is it because you love learning and want to commit to the highest of
academic excellence? Is it a personal challenge you want to take on in
order to prove to yourself and others that you have what it takes? Have
you always been the straight A student and believe it shapes your identity
in the eyes of others or even in your own eyes? Do you want to go to
a top grad school where the cutoff grade point average for acceptance
is really high? Do you believe that straight A's will ensure future happiness
and success? Basically, if your motives are internally driven, as in,
it's a goal YOU really want to achieve for you, then you're probably
going to be less stressed if you're constantly thinking, "Oh my
God, I have to graduate summa cum laude to please my relatives and prove
my worth and I'm never going to be happy or successful if I don't ace
this next test."
2. Make a pack with yourself to never shy away from an interesting class
for fear of not getting an A. When I was in college, a professor who
taught European History confided to me that one of her students wanted
to drop out of her class right before midterms. Even though this student
loved European History she told my professor that she was struggling
and didn't want to ruin her chances of graduating summa cum laude. My
professor confided that her student was slated to get an A- in her course
by mid term. If I've learned one thing post graduation it's that challenging
myself to love learning above the almighty grade is a reward all in itself.
3. Make time everyday for self-care. That means getting enough sleep
every night, eating whole nutritious foods on a daily basis, not skipping
meals or replacing meals with junk food because you're too busy or stressed
to sit down and eat a real breakfast, lunch or dinner. I also recommend
that you make time for a daily dose of exercise, even if that means a
twenty-minute walk to the library to do your homework. Exercise releases
endorphins and lowers your stress hormones so it's well worth crazy busy
college students' time to sweat out their worries. Also, monitor your
emotions and if you find yourself getting overly stressed from harsh
expectations, make it a priority to talk to a friend or visit your campus
counseling center and talk with a trained counselor. Trust me, from someone
who battled anxiety, depression, insomnia and daily stomachaches, good
health is something to be very proud of!
4. Finally, realize that while graduating at the top of your class is
an impressive accomplishment, perfect grades are not your ticket to a
happy and successful life. YOU are. Your passion for your dreams and
persistence to keep going when things get hard ensures your future success.
As far as happiness goes, my friend Nancy Barry says, "The happiest
people don't necessarily have the best of everything. They just make
the best of what they have." Choose to uncover your own happiness
and you'll be amazed by what you find that was there all along.
Featured
Question for September 20, 2007:
"How can we get students to stop obsessing over grades
& instead focus on learning?"
Please install Flash to listen to Maria's comments.
Answer by Maria Pascucci, founder of Campus Calm:
Well, a second-grader who's very dear to my heart recently came home
from school crying because her teacher told the class that if they all
got 100's on their spelling test that they could have a pizza party.
The lively little second-grader received a 93 on the test and "ruined" the
pizza party for all her classmates. You think that lesson in bribery
is going to teach her how to love learning?
Besides the obvious gripe about bribing children with pizza in the face
of a nationwide child obesity epidemic, this teacher taught students
a powerful lesson about the value our nation places on perfection. A
93 on a spelling test isn't good enough because, after all, it's 7 points
shy of 100. With weighted averages in high school, even a 100 isn't good
enough when your friend two rows over can boast a 105. One high school
junior whom I recently interviewed said, "The class list comes out
each semester and you try so hard to be in the top twenty. If you're
not you feel like a failure." Is it any wonder why a college junior
recently wrote me to say, "I make myself sick if I receive anything
less than an 'A' on tests. I put my entire self worth and identity into
my academic accomplishments trying to prove to everyone that I am talented."
Second graders may not be emotionally mature enough yet to realize when
they're being bribed but we are old enough to realize it. We're also
old enough to stand up and say that we won't stand for it. Perfection
= a lifetime of happiness and success? Please! That's one of the most
perfectly packaged lies we're spoon-fed from the cradle to college graduation
and beyond. Striving for perfection equals nothing but headaches, heartache
and a never-ending sense of failure and disappointment.
High school and college students: if you really want to win in the game
of life, close the board game all together and find your own path. Take
classes because they sound interesting, try your best in everything you
do but don't worry so much about the meaning of individual grades and
tests. Create your own sense of calm in a world that's telling you every
which way you turn that frazzled is "in" and that stress spells
success. Be the rock your friends can hold onto so they don't drown in
a sea of pressure. And remember: The next time you're feeling like the
weight of the world is on your shoulders, look yourself square in the
mirror and say, in the words of hockey legend Mark Messier, "The
only pressure I'm under is the pressure I've put on myself."
Featured
Question for September 06, 2007:
"How can students implement healthy sleep habits given their
packed schedules?"
Please
install Flash to listen to Maria's comments.
Answer by Maria Pascucci, founder of Campus Calm:
When students become busy it's so easy to skimp on sleep but it's
one of the worst things you can do. A lack of sleep actually sets students
up for anxiety and depression. A lack of sleep contributes to student
stress and we all know that stress screws up our immune systems and
before we know it, we're sneezing, coughing and reaching for the box
of tissues. Getting sick contributes to students falling behind in their
classes and then that adds to the stress. It's a vicious cycle. Staying
up all night in college to "burn the midnight oil" almost
seems like a rite of passage. It shouldn't be that way.
According to recent studies, college students average 6 to 6 1/2 hours of
sleep per night. Talk to any sleep deprived student and you'll know that
that number sounds generous! If you have so much going on in your life that
you can't squeeze in at least 7 hours of sleep every night you need to re-prioritize
your schedule. You may need to cut back on extracurricular activities, drop
hours at your part-time job or workstudy, or simply learn better time management
skills. Students need to learn to listen to their bodies. It'll tell you
loud and clear if it's being taxed.
College students: Be especially careful not to take on too many classes in one semester. I double majored in English and History and picked up a minor in Writing. By my last semester of my senior year, I needed 18 credit hours to graduate on time. So I overloaded my schedule on top of working part-time off campus. The stress was WAY too much and I cracked.
Also, students should practice positive thinking, especially before bedtime. Yoga and relaxation CDs helped me with this. I've gone through bouts of awful insomnia and every time, I would dread nighttime because I would fear lying awake all night worrying. Of course that's exactly what happened!
I've watched my fair share of 3 a.m. infomercials and no amount of Ginsu
Knives or Hip Hop Ab video testimonials could distract me from the anxiety
of watching the clock tick away while I lay awake exhausted. This might sound
hokey, but now every night before I go to bed, I drink a cup of herbal tea
with no caffeine, turn off the lights in my living room (if I watch TV it's
something uplifting) and I reflect on what I'm grateful for that day. I think
about what I learned, who I met, how I felt. I choose not to focus on the
mistakes I made or on my own shortcomings. When I focus on the positive,
the negative starts to seem trivial and I worry less. It's all about giving
yourself permission to unwind, both physically and mentally, after a long
day at school or at work. In the words of Charlotte Bront?: "A ruffled
mind makes a restless pillow."
Featured Question for August 23, 2007:
"How can students learn to proactively manage stress?"
Please
install Flash to listen to Maria's comments.
Answer by Maria Pascucci, founder of Campus Calm:
As we're about to start a new school year, it might sound like Mom's
timeless advice but regular sleep, nutrition and exercise really do go a
long way toward proactively managing stress. And we know for a fact that
a large majority of Americans equate health care solely with sick care so
why would students feel any different? It took me stressing over school to
the point of physically damaging my health to understand why my emotional
and physical needs have to be a daily priority. It's taken me six years to
start reversing the damage I'd done to my body in college by stressing over
everything and not taking the time to cut myself a break and enjoy my life.
Did you know that according to the latest American College Health Assessment
only 7% of students eat the recommended minimum of 5 servings of fruit and
vegetables per day? Did you also know that when we are deficient in certain
vitamins and nutrients that it can be a direct cause of anxiety and depression,
especially when you couple it with a lack of sleep, exercise and laughter
in our daily lives.
Teens and college students: Watch your spending habits because there's nothing
like a credit card statement with a late fee and a ridiculously high interest
rate to stress you out the night before a big test!
Also, some students need to practice living in the moment, instead of always
worrying about the future. Someone once told me that I needed to practice mindfulness.
I shrugged and said, "Whatever, my mind is working ALL the time." What
that person meant was that I was spending so much time always thinking that I
never stopped to look around and appreciate what was right in front of me. I
truly believe that everyday is a gift and we have a choice of whether or not
to use that gift wisely.
Students need to make the choice for themselves to appreciate the gifts in their
lives. Like the fact that they are lucky enough to be given this time in school
to explore their interests and develop their unique skills. You can either stress
about school and obsess over things like grades and the meaning of individual
tests and choices of majors or you can learn to look at the bigger picture and
start enjoying your time in high school and college in a way that I never did.
If you want to proactively stay healthy this academic year, make sure you take
time out each day to recoup and recharge and reflect on why you're working so
hard to be an educated person. Take time to figure out what makes you happy in
life and don't try to rush the process. Once you know yourself better, you can
then take active steps to realize that happiness. In the words of John Dewey: "Education
is not preparation for life; education is life itself."
Featured Question for August 9, 2007:
"What is one thing a student can do right now to start leading
a more balanced life?"
Please
install Flash to listen to Maria's comments.
Answer by Maria Pascucci, founder of Campus Calm:
Sit down and make a list of all the pastimes that bring you joy. Then
find ways to make more time for them! College is one of the few times in
your life when you're supposed to be self-focused. Learn to prioritize the things that make you happy and manage your time. Remember that time is a student's most valuable asset in life - and you get to actively choose how you want to spend it - even
while managing a demanding academic courseload.
Your academic experience should be all about growing, exploring and having
fun. A healthy amount of stress builds strength and character but trying
to squeeze in too much taxes your body and your mind - and ultimately,
sets you up for one unpleasant academic experience.
No one is going to fault you if you give up one extra activity to give
yourself some breathing room. If they do fault you, they just don't "get it" anyway!
Remember to say: it's MY life! Repeat this affirmation: Before I say "yes"
(again) to something or someone, I will ask myself, "Is this new task in
alignment with my goals? Will saying yes make me happy? Do I have time to
add another thing to my schedule? What will I have to sacrifice if I say
yes to this new activity?" Be honest and don't be afraid to put your own
needs first every now and then! In the words of Francis Bacon: "To
choose time is to save time."
Featured Question for July 26, 2007:
"Why do you think so many students live in perpetual overwhelm?"
Please
install Flash to listen to Maria's comments.
Answer by Maria Pascucci, founder of Campus Calm:
Because it's so easy to do. Today's students juggle classes, homework,
extracurriculars, employment, work-study, families, relationships ... stressed
yet? Students become busy, skimp on sleep, start stressing and then get sick.
It's a vicious cycle. If you have to stay up super late each night to squeeze
in homework and study time, that should be a clue for you that you're taking
on too much. Look at your extracurriculars, class load and other activities
and see if there's something you could cut back on to free up some relaxation
time.
Our culture glamorizes workhorses. We actually boast to others
about how much we're juggling and how tired we are. It's a rite
of passage for college students to "burn the midnight oil." It's
like the more hours we can work and the more appointments we
can jam into our palm pilots, the more successful we are... It's
ridiculous!
Campus Calm believes
that success is finding a few things that you're good at and that you
enjoy. Then you take active steps to implement those activities and
pastimes into your life on a regular basis. Success isn't feeling
like you have to do everything and be everything to all people. Successful
students say "no" to
time wasters everyday without guilt. They stop procrastinating and they
instead learn to act in real time - as in minutes, to hours to days.
Advice: Realize
that high school and college is about learning and growing, not cramming
in as much as you can to build the ultimate success portfolio. Trust
me, your future employer will be so much more impressed by your passion
and enthusiasm for your work and for your life than by a laundry list of
credentials that you achieved along the way that meant nothing to you but
added stress, pressure and deadlines. In the words of Denis Waitley, "Chase
your passion, not your pension."
Featured Question for July 11, 2007:
"How can we get more girls to stop hating their bodies?"
Answer by Maria Pascucci, founder of Campus Calm:
Please
install Flash to listen to Maria's comments.
First of all, body image is not just a girls' problem. When I walk into
my local health food store, there's always a group of guys there asking
about the protein powder and weight gainer. A friend of mine who happens
to be a personal trainer says that he sees just as many guys over-exercising
at the gym as the girls. Guys want to bulk up and girls want to slim
down. We're all trying to live up to unrealistic standards of beauty.
Girls are simply encouraged to talk about their feelings while guys are
encouraged to act macho and pretend there's not a problem.
We have to get ALL students to view eating whole, nutritious foods and exercising
as a way to respect their bodies and to promote an active, healthy lifestyle.
The emphasis shouldn't be just on looking good in your jeans. America's obsessive
quest to look good as opposed to feeling good is why we so easily fall prey
to the 30 billion dollar a year diet industry and the 26 billion dollar cosmetic
surgery industry. When you're treating your body with all the love and respect
that it deserves, you will, in turn, look better. Campus Calm wants
students to view good health as an end in itself though and not just as a means
to look better.
Finally, understand that how we see ourselves in a mirror determines how
we see ourselves in every aspect of our lives. In we spend twenty minutes in
front of a mirror criticizing every inch of our bodies, how can we possibly
act confidently once we leave our bedrooms. Advice: You
can primp, sculpt and makeover your body many times throughout your life, but
the image you have of yourself lasts a lifetime. So make it a good one. :-)
Recent visitor questions:
• What advice
do you have for students who are struggling with self-worth and validation
issues, or for those who are on top and feel huge pressure to stay there?
Please
install Flash to listen to Maria's comments.
• What would
you say to students who are struggling to make life decisions, such as
an intended career or a college major, at such a young age?
Please
install Flash to listen to Maria's comments.
Pssst ... Want to learn how you can download the full-color Campus
Calm "Unlock Your Life Purpose"
interactive worksheet package for FREE. Valued at $25. Click
here to learn
more.
|
 |
