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My husband Shaun and I will be celebrating our 8-year wedding anniversary this summer, and we have been dating for nearly fourteen years. So I can safely say that I know a thing or two about marriage and relationships in general. The key to a healthy marriage is sharing the household chores, and trying really, really hard not to keep score (the one who comes up short on the scoreboard, namely me, will also be the one to invent this rule).
Shaun and I moved into our first house last year and there has been quite a bit of remodeling to do. Tearing down 1970's style wallpaper, painting, trimming, re-staining hardwood floors, ripping out smelly old carpets, hanging up new light fixtures, etc. Recently, I discovered that I have a dangerous chemical sensitivity to the environmental toxins in household paints and stains (especially the ones that aren't low or zero VOC). My doctor advised me not to be around paint, primer or paint thinner unless I have a really, really good oxygen mask on, or better yet, to not be around it at all. So that leaves my poor husband stuck with the painting chores, and me with the perfect excuse to not be home when painting's going on.
Since Shaun has to take on this new chore solo, I decided to learn a few new chores for myself to take some of the burden off him. One of those new chores is mowing the lawn. I will admit that I'm thirty-one years  old and have never mowed a lawn in my life, and really don't think there's anything wrong with that. However, I also believe that the more a woman can learn to be self-sufficient, the better off she'll be in the long run because her self-confidence soars with each new thing mastered. Plus, I figured if I mowed the lawn, I wouldn't feel guilty for not offering to take out the garbage.
Shaun gave me a quick tutorial on the essence of lawn mowing:
1. Please don't run over the tree we just planted
2. Don't spray the mulch we just spread with cut grass
3. DO NOT let go of the mower when it's in drive.
Check. Check. And check.
Step one: Turn on mower.
Step two: Push the left handle thing-y down [Enter Shaun: “The automatic drive”]
Step three: Steer, don't hold back; the machine will do the work.
Step four: Try to cut straight lines.
Here are the lessons you can apply to your lives that I learned with a mower in my hands:
1. Spin the wheels in life and move. When I first put the lawn mower in drive and started cutting the grass, I was walking really slow, trying to control the mower instead of letting it take me along for the ride. Shaun motioned for me to stop the mower so I could hear him and he said, “The wheels were spinning but you really weren't moving. You're holding back, you were going slower than the wheels were trying to go. Just steer and let the mower do the rest.”
Hmmm, I thought to myself, maybe we all get to steer the course of our lives, but do we make it more difficult than it has to be by holding back every step of the way? Point: Sometimes we all just need to spin the wheels in our lives and move.
Ok, turn the mower back on again. Put the left handle lever thing-y down [Enter Shaun: “The automatic drive”]. Steer. Don't push. Hey, it works!
2. Stay in a straight line. Don't veer from the path. Wait a sec, I don't like this advice; let me see, what happens if I do veer from the path a bit. Oops. Oh. Um, well, we can't walk perfectly straight lines all the time, can we, and besides what fun is that?
I'd like to say that the rebellious side of my brain intentionally chose to send signals to my legs to walk down the forbidden crooked grass path, but I'm really not that clever. I just didn't steer the mower correctly, and by lack of skill, ended up with a few crooked lines and uncut patches. And so what? In lessons in life and lawns, you lift the mower, pull back and mow over the grass you miss. Point: You make a mistake in life, either pull back and do it again, or just accept a few missed patches of green every now and then while you keep moving forward.
3. Wear goggles to protect your makeup. It was a bit windy out and grass started blowing in my eyes. I had just put my eyeliner and mascara on twenty minutes beforehand. I started complaining. Shaun gave me a pair of protective eye goggles. I looked stupid but no grass got in my eyes. Point? I don't really have a good one, other than don't wear mascara when mowing the lawn on windy days.
4. Forgive the mess, but do sweep up what's necessary.
Shaun instructed not to lift the front of the mower up when I get to the mulch that's around our plants and patio set, because otherwise, all the cut grass would shoot out all over the place. I'd like to say that I remembered that lesson every time I made my way back to the patio. But I didn't. I lifted the front of the mower up to turn around and consequently all the grass shot out on our outdoor patio table and chairs set, and on some of the mulch around our flowers.
When I was finished, I took out our broom and swept all the grass off our patio, moving out chairs to sweep under the table. Then I got down on bended knees and hand picked grass from our mulch (well, I hand-picked grass from the mulch for about ten seconds, grew bored and decided, grass in the mulch isn't so bad after all). All in all, I wasted about five minutes sweeping the patio. I made a mistake, but really, what was the big deal? Point: When we make mistakes, take the consequences (unnecessary sweeping), take note on how to do it better next time and improve through practice. Mistakes cannot define our journey, but how we react to our mistakes can. That's called resilience.
5. Accept help. As Lennon and McCartney wrote, we all get by “with a little help from [our] friends.” When I finished mowing my first lawn,  Shaun said, “Good job!” Then he took the mower and went around the plants and all the other stuff I missed. And you know what? I let him. Point: We don't have to do it all, all by ourselves in order to be successful. Don't allow your pride to isolate you, or prevent you from taking chances while learning from others.
Who knows, maybe next week I'll give edging the lawn a try … [Enter Shaun: “Why don't you just take out the garbage?”]
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© 2010 Maria L. Pascucci /Campus Calm.
About the author:
Maria Pascucci is the President of Campus Calm –
the international online-community for today's stress-resistant student leaders,
their parents and educators. Download your Stress-Out Less Kit with 4 FREE
gifts at www.campuscalm.com.
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