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Note from Maria Pascucci, founder of Campus Calm:
I have been wanting to feature a special article with tips to help GLBT students manage stress for some time now. The National Day of Silence on April 17, 2009 affords us the perfect opportunity. That's why I invited my good friend, Lyndsey D'Arcangelo, to contibute the following article that blends personal story-telling with practical tips to help GLBT students manage stress.
Lyndsey D'Arcangelo is a versatile writer, having experience as a journalist, copywriter, author, freelancer and blogger. She has been working on perfecting her craft ever since she could pick up a pen, exploring the many different ways one can be a writer. Lyndsey contributes regularly to national and local publications, newspapers, and EveryJoe.com.
 The Trouble with Emily Dickinson is her debut novel. Her second novel, The Crabapple Tree will be available May 16th.
For novel excerpts, short stories, news updates and more, visit www.lyndseydarcangelo.com.
In her own words
Judy Blume became my hero the very moment I read Shelia the Great. From then on, I knew I wanted to be a writer. I fondly remember each and every writing camp I have ever attended. I knew that the power of words was unlimited and felt that very power whenever I saw my stories and poems come alive on the page. I have been working on perfecting my craft ever since, exploring the many different ways one can be a writer. I choose to dabble in words the way painters dabble in colors, mixing genres and sampling a bit of everything that requires the use of the written word. To write, in essence, is to wade knee-deep in a sea of creative expression.
What better way is there to make a living?
Please open your hearts and minds to listen to her story and words of wisdom ...
 From Lyndsay D'Arcangelo:
College is normally a safe haven for learning, social growth and self-discovery for many students. After all, college is a place where mistakes are made, achievements are realized and "education" happens on all levels - emotionally, intellectually and physically. It's a place where students not only have the opportunity to figure out what they want to do in life, but where they can also find out who they are.
I learned a great deal when I was in college. And one of the biggest things I learned was that I was gay. It was a realization that happened over time, but by my junior year, it was something that I couldn't run away from any longer. The only problem was that I had chosen to attend a small Methodist school in the South that was hardly open to GLBT students and issues. In fact, there wasn't a GLBT or a gay/straight alliance group on campus. There were no students who were "out" that I could turn to for advice and/or help, and I didn't feel comfortable talking to any of my academic advisors.
As a result, I spent a great part of my junior year confused, lost and isolated. I was scared to talk to any of my friends because of what they might think, scared that if anyone found out I'd be teased, ridiculed and maybe worse. Instead of being able to talk about my feelings, I stuffed them down inside. My grades suffered as a direct result, and my focus and attention to my schoolwork deteriorated. I was stressing about everything and had no sense of well-being.
Somehow over summer break, I was able to muddle through the emotions and confusion so that by the time I came back to school for my senior year, I was ready to focus on my studies and nothing else. I didn't end up coming out until after I graduated from college, but I always wondered if the process would have been easier for me had I had a network of support available on campus to turn to.
Tomorrow is The National Day of Silence, a day that brings attention to anti-GLBT name-calling, bullying and harassment in learning environments. Each year the event has grown and expanded to include hundreds of thousands of straight and gay students coming together across the country to show their support for the GLBT community. In honor of this special day, here are some helpful tips for gay and questioning students to stress-out less and focus more on being happy, healthy and "calm" on campus.
• Find a group. If you're gay or questioning, chances are high that there are other students at your school who are experiencing the same whirlwind of emotions. Find out if your college has a GLBT support group or a GLBT social organization. If such groups exist, attend a meeting. It always helps to know that you are not the only one dealing with these feelings, and it will give you the opportunity to make new friends. If your college does not have a GLBT support group, create one. Talk to a counselor, a resident advisor or an academic advisor. They will have the resources to help you get started. By creating a support group, you are not only helping and supporting yourself, but other students as well.
• Talk to a friend. Some of the friends you make in college are friends that you will have for the rest of your life. And those kinds of friendships are not affected or ruined by talking about your sexuality. My best friend from college knew what I was going through, but she also knew I wasn't ready to talk to her. Had I been, I would have had a wonderful confidant and caring friend to lean on. Talking to your friends about your sexuality may seem scary, but the fear is usually built up in your mind. If they are true friends, they will be there to support you in any way that they can. In some cases, straight allies can be the greatest asset of all.
If you are straight and you notice that a friend has become withdrawn or depressed, and has lost interest in attending class or studying, take the initiative to reach out to them. As much as I could have talked to my best friend, she had a similar opportunity to talk to me as well. Your friend may be struggling with the idea of talking to you because of fear. Help him or her break the silence. Let them know that you are there to listen.
• Take a class on GLBT issues. Take some time to scan your school's course book. There are more and more GLBT-related courses and classes being taught on college campuses every semester. For example, if your school offers a course on GLBT literature, talk to your advisor and sign up for it. It will not only give you the opportunity to read and study the works of notable GLBT writers, but it will also provide you with an opportunity to discuss GLBT issues out loud with the rest of the class. As the semester goes on, you may feel comfortable enough to share your own feelings and experiences with other students. Your professor can also provide you with other resources, should you feel comfortable enough to ask.
• Two words: resident advisor. Resident advisors are trained to handle all types of social situations, no matter what they entail. I should know - I was an RA! Use your RA as a resource/friend. RA's are not only there to listen to you with an open ear and mind, but they are also there to serve as a private confidant/guide. Let your RA know what is going on. They can provide you with sound advice and point you to the resources you need. Their primary goal is to help you feel more comfortable in a college setting so that you can have a healthy and positive college experience.
• Network of support. If I've learned anything throughout my college career, it's that support is the biggest key of all. It doesn't matter whether you find support in a group, in a friend, in an RA or even in a professor - the important thing is to have support. Don't try to swim through your ocean of feelings and confusion by yourself - you don't have to. Support will give you a shoulder to lean on, an ear to talk to, and rid you of any feelings of isolation. Support is everywhere. All you have to do is reach out.
© 2009 Maria L. Pascucci /Campus Calm.
About the founder:
Maria Pascucci is the President of Campus Calm –
the international online-community for today's stressed-out students, and
their parents and educators. Download your Stress-Out Less Kit with 4 FREE
gifts at www.campuscalm.com.
Want to reprint this article in YOUR own website?
You can as long as the article remains complete and unaltered (including
the "about the author" info and link back to
www.campuscalm.com), and you send a copy of your reprint to
maria@campuscalm.com. You're also welcome to use my photo here.
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