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*Note: Due to the candid in-depth interviews for our March Madness body image piece, we decided to turn this into a three-part series. Part I focused on body image and college men; Part II will spotlight the ladies and Part III will focus on practical tips and solutions.
Maria Pascucci, founder and president of Campus Calm, had the privilege of talking with three college women who attend SUNY Fredonia College in New York State. Topic is: Spotlighting female body image on college campuses.
Campus Calm spoke with:
• Corri, 21, junior, music education major, New York State pageant contestant
• Rachel, 19, sophomore, public relations major
• Ashley, 20, sophomore, psychology major, minor in public health
Q: Do you find that body image anxiety tends to heighten in March and then takes us throughout the spring and summer?
Rachel: Yes, definitely. When I'm at the campus gym, I see more girls running on the treadmill extra hard trying to lose weight for bikini season. My friend recently tried on a bathing suit at Walmart and said, "OK, I have to lose five more pounds and then I'll look good in that."
Q: What do you think makes a person beautiful?
Rachel: I have curves and I love them. I'm not overweight but I have the hips and the small waist. I think it's awesome to see people on TV who actually look like a more natural person. I think anyone can be beautiful as long as you feel beautiful.
Corri: Being comfortable in your own skin is the highest form of beauty you can reach, and not caring what other people think. I wish I could be more like that, and I try to be more like that, but it's hard.
Q: When do you feel the most beautiful?
Corri: I used to think I felt the most beautiful when I was all dressed up, like in my evening gown and I had all my makeup on and my outfit fit me really well. Then my boyfriend, sometimes he just looks at me and says, "You're so beautiful." I don't have any makeup on and I'm wearing sweatpants. I look hideous but he says, "No you really are just beautiful and I don't think you know how many people see that in you." I don't really think about "Am I pretty enough" because I know I'm with somebody who thinks I'm beautiful no matter what. That has helped me come to terms with who I am.
Q: Have you or any of your friends ever bonded through body bashing sessions?
Rachel: Who hasn't? "I look so fat!" "You?" "Look at me!" Blah, blah, blah. We try to one up each other by how bad we think we look. It's horrible, but we all partake in it at some point.
Ashley: Oh god yeah. We all bond through body bashing. It's definitely not healthy but every female has done it at some point. It's like bringing humor to a situation: "Yeah, I'm this way, but at least we're both this way." When people have low self-esteem and they want to see what other people think of them, they'll say, "Oh, I look like crap in this bathing suit, my hips are so big, my thighs." Then the friend doesn't want the other one to feel bad so they'll be like, "Oh I know, my thighs too."
Q: If a college woman has a positive body image and tells her friends that she does, would that be helpful or come across as conceited?
Ashley: I think most of the time it would come across as that girl has a really big ego and she shouldn't be so confident because even if she is beautiful, she should be humble about it. When you look good, you have to hide that you think you look good. I know this is horrible what I'm saying, but I believe it.
Q: How do you think we can get students to view nutrition and exercise as a way to be healthy and not just to look good in our jeans or our swimsuits?
Rachel: I don't know. I'm still trying to figure that out for myself. Wow, just be healthy to be healthy ... what a concept.
Corri: I think the media has such a hold on what we think is beautiful. We are all brainwashed by what we see on TV. It will be difficult to get people to see that they want to be healthy to be healthy, and not just to look good. Both of these things drive me to work out and eat nutritious foods.
Since I've been working out everyday for the pageant, I find that I sleep better, have more energy, better relationships with people, focus better for my classes, and I look better in my jeans, but that's just a bonus. Once people see how much better they feel maybe they'll focus on that more and less on how they look.
Ashley: Being healthy first is my personal goal when I talk to my friends. I just want to urge people that it's your future. How you take care of your body now is going to affect what happens to you physically ten years down the road, and twenty years down the road. We're talking about quality of life.
I work at a place with food. I always feel really bad whenever I serve the fries to anybody. The fries, the mozzarella sticks; the chicken fingers - they're absolutely terrible for you. That's also sometimes when I'll have a binge fest, and then I feel really bad about it. I tell people to do one thing, and then I do another. I try to be really careful about what I put into my mouth.
Q: Have you ever let your number on a scale affect your health or your self worth?
Rachel: I used to give up lunches and I was bulimic all throughout high school. If I had to eat because I was at a restaurant and it would look sketchy if I didn't, I would end up throwing it up. For a while I didn't do it because there were security guards around campus and they would hear me if I threw up. I stopped for a while, but then started back up during prom season. My friends and I were all like, "Let's not eat for a little bit."
Q: How old were you when you first threw up a meal?
Rachel: I was sixteen years old in my junior year. On a school trip, I was wondering if I could get away with it. I did and it was really easy. I ended up losing weight. I felt a certain control over my body that I didn't have when I was eating.
Q: How did you begin to deal with your eating disorder and ultimately heal?
Rachel: My friend helped me. A guy I liked stopped returning my affection, and I blamed it on my weight. I was like, "Why? Am I too fat? I'm trying so hard not to be too fat for you." One of my male friends sat me down and talked to me that night and he really helped me. I stopped throwing up all at once. I wasn't doing it three times a day, so it wasn't that hard to stop.
Q: Should the media take the slack for the pressure we feel with unrealistic standards of beauty?
Ashley: Media is the number one problem. If it wasn't for the media, I think people would want to be healthier instead of just more beautiful and thin. When I was younger, I would see the boys at school who talk about girls. I'd hear what they'd say and watch whom they checked out. I would say to myself, "Wow, I want to be like that girl that they're talking about." But the guys are looking at the same things in our popular culture as we are.
Q: Would you agree that self-love is your greatest ticket to success in life?
Rachel: Yes, you can't have anyone love and appreciate you if you can't love and appreciate yourself.
Q: What advice would you have to a college woman who's struggling with body image and self-worth?
Ashley: Besides go to the gym everyday, everyone is uniquely different. Instead of conforming, we should be valuing our differences because we're like a puzzle. We can do great things, but if everyone were the same, you wouldn't get anything done. Everyone has to bring something new to the table.
Rachel: Love yourself for who you are. You can still want to change certain aspects about your body and go to the gym but love yourself first.
Corri: Find an asset that you really like and enjoy. Accentuate it. Everyone is beautiful. The hardest part is finding that and seeing that. It took me a long time to see that, even though my friends thought I was perfect. Because they thought I was perfect, I felt like I had more pressure to find that person who I thought was beautiful.
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*Stay tuned as Campus Calm spotlights practical tips and solutions to body image issues on college campuses for both young men and young women.
About the author:
Maria Pascucci is the President of Campus Calm - the award-winning online-community for today's stressed-out students, and their parents and educators. Download your Student Life Stress-Less Kit with 4 FREE gifts at www.campuscalm.com. A summa cum laude college graduate, Maria is also the President of the International Campus Calm University Student Association at CampusCalmU.com.
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