Boomers and Empty Nesters 2011, Now What?
I love new beginnings but Boomers and Empty Nesters have expressed to me they worry as they enter the NEW.
Worry is just one color, one sound, in a full orchestra of a self. Who hasn’t felt worried and out of control?
Let worry express and then move. “I am not going to think about that now. I am going to think about (fill in the blank). I have been thinking about…..all day and I am sick of, sick of. For some people when they express and they say, I AM NOT GOING TO THINK ABOUT THAT RIGHT NOW, it shifts them.
It is like saying, STOP IT, to a needy person who can’t stop themselves. That doesn’t work for everyone. Feeling what you feel, becoming aware of it, and reminding yourself of your values is a good thing. The value of treating yourself with KINDNESS, wins.
Feelings aren’t monsters nor are your worry thoughts the all of YOU. You forget that.
Feel what you feel and move.
Move means get up if you are sitting.
Look at what is in your eye view. Look again. I am looking at a photo, which I will add to this blog, of a sunflower in my office. Some petals are folded. I like the center green. The point of looking at something is to re-fresh, to give yourself a shift, look and say what you see.
It gets you here and not behind you or too far ahead of you. Present moment. You aren’t your worry. It is a part of you and not the ALL of you, which you know, yet worry can be consuming, so remind yourself. “there is more to me than this worry, my need right now is to (fill in the blank). You may need to stand, sit, make a phone call, get in the car, make an appointment.
Allow yourself ten minutes a day to chat with YOU about what you love about yourself and one other person. A client practiced this and helped her.
Initially she said, “I can’t think of another person today that I love.” We decided it could be someone she doesn’t know but she admires them for what she does know of them, the persona of that person.
Over the years of working with people, I notice they focus more on what they think they need to fix and they feel out of control, they worry. The opposite of worry for you could be the practice of TRUST. Find memories when you did trust yourself and speak them to YOU.
They can be the example which might be a time when you decided not to go see a friend and instead do something just for you and how that affected you in a positive way or how you decided to say YES to something that in the past you would have said No Thanks.
May it surprise you in joyous ways and open you to parts of yourself you haven’t met. Stay curious and compassionate. Comfort yourself by a warm fire in the winter breeze.
~ Natalie Caine, Empty Nest Support Expert, Campus Calm™