20 Something Crisis Survival Expert’s Tip of the Month – August

From the Christine Hassler blog: Choices

Choices. Everyday we are faced with a multitude of them. Some of the choices we face are fairly easy to make – like foam or no foam in your latte. But then there are choices that are seemingly more difficult such as whether to take or leave a job, begin or end a relationship, stay where you are or move to a new city, and so on. What I have noticed about making choices is that the analysis that goes along with it can create struggle. The process of making the choice often causes far more angst than the actual outcome. We obsess over all the different scenarios, seek the advice of dozens of people, make pro and con lists, and lose sleep over decisions. I’ve witnessed many of my clients lately agonize over a choice they are facing so much that they literally talk themselves into a tizzy and end up feeling stuck. In confusion it can feel impossible to make a choice.

So how do you get unstuck? How do you diffuse confusion? One way that has worked in my life and with my clients is to fully talk both sides out but only from a positive perspective (all pro’s, no con’s). Allow yourself to clearly see that either choice will produce favorable results and there is no “wrong” decision. As you are reflecting on your options, notice how you feel. Is your stomach tight? Is your breath shallow? Is a smile coming forward? Chances are that if you only look at the positive in each scenario and fully ride that line of energy, one choice will naturally resonate more than the other – you will just feel better as you are talking about it. When we flip flop between the pro’s and con’s, more confusion is likely to emerge. Then, and this is the most important part: CHOOSE! Jump in fully to your decision and jump out of limbo land. Remember, it’s the indecision that causes far more struggle and angst than the outcome. And to borrow lyrics from one of my favorite 1990s bands, Jesus Jones: Get it wrong, get it right; You can try as hard as you like; but there’s no such thing in the world as the right decision.

~ Christine Hassler, 20 Something Crisis Survival Expert, Campus Calm

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