Teen Parenting Expert’s Tip of the Month – March

Lose Stress Fast

By Barbara McRae, MCC

You want to have less stress in your life, right? To help you do that, begin by noticing that much of our stress has to do with wanting “things” to be different! Take a look at these examples:

We want our partner/spouse to act differently.
We want our kids to dress differently, to listen to different music, to make different friends.
We want our parents to love us differently.
We want our bank account to be different.
We want our politicians to make different decisions.
We want the world to operate differently.
And so on.

We are constantly butting heads against reality. This contributes to our stress. To instantly reduce your stress, stop fighting with reality. We cannot make a prolonged difference in this world if we are eating ourselves up on the inside. Believe it or not, external problems have internal solutions. Why? Our inner world reflects our outer world.

Have you noticed that when you’re feeling calm and confident, you can avoid reacting to the annoyances around you? In contrast, when you’re already feeling unsettled inside, you can easily get triggered, thus intensifying the problem.

Follow these vital three steps to feel better from the inside out.

1. Be compassionate with yourself.

“Com” means “with;” be with yourself as you feel compassion. Let your disappointments pass through you easily just as clouds pass across the sky. Clouds don’t stick to the sky! Your feelings won’t either IF you allow them to gently pass. At first this could take a few minutes. With practice, you’ll reduce the time to mere seconds.

2. Focus on belly-breathing.
Restore calm quickly by taking in more oxygen. The fastest way to do that is to belly-breath. You know you’re doing it right when you extend your belly as your inhaling; then slowly exhale while you watch your belly deflate. It’s biologically impossible to feel stressed when you breath this way. (Repeat as necessary.)

3. Celebrate your success with a smile.
Now that you’re been successful in shedding your stress, give yourself a pat on the back and smile. You did it, and it was easier than you thought. As you continue to use these powerful tools, you’ll feel relaxed and you’ll smile more often. And that’s another good reason to celebrate!

My best,

P.S. For additional support on how to handle your emotions, refer to “The Three Parenting Pitfalls” in “Coach Your Teen to Success.” (www.amazon.com). Visit us at www.teenfrontier.com for more no-cost resources.
(c) Barbara McRae, Teen Parenting Expert, Campus Calm

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