Want to send holiday wishes to your loved ones but you’re lacking time and money? We’ve thought up the perfect way to do it! Put up a special MySpace or Facebook page (a blog will do the trick too) that’s the college student’s customized holiday e-card. If you’re feeling really festive, you can put up your favorite holiday song on the page so everyone will be in the mood to read your note. You can even attach a picture too if you’re feeling really chipper.
Season’s greetings to all the friends and family of [insert your name],
[Insert Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Holidays.] I would love to sit down with fancy schmancy, sparkly cards and pen you all a personalized holiday love note that’s delivered straight to your door. But … I’m a broke college student who cannot afford the postage that keeps getting raised higher and higher (my mom says it used to be 22¢ in 1987) and not to mention it, the cards in the college bookstore are pretty pricey too, unless you don’t mind if I dig through my parents leftover holiday card collection from last year, but I don’t really have time for that either. Plus, I’m buried in books, I procrastinated on my Lit 302 paper, I have four exams this week and, jeez, I need my beauty sleep!
If you’re a loved one who’s usually on my holiday gift list, your choice this year is a [insert your college’s name] sweatshirt, nightgown, keychain or a cute teddy bear wearing my school’s tee and waving a flag. Oh [insert Mom or Dad], I could also get you a heavy-duty college coffee mug so you can remember where all your hard-earned money is going every time you grab your morning cup of joe on your way to the office. Aren’t I thoughtful?
Anywhoo, I just wanted to say that I love you guys and when I graduate, hopefully with a high paying job and expense account – you can download my resume
here (and if you’re in a position to hire me, please don’t google my name because I don’t have time to take down that drunken picture of myself from last New Year’s on my Facebook page and really it’s not that big of a deal anyway) I’ll be in a better position to buy you all … wait, the holidays shouldn’t be about materialism anyway, so I’m setting a wonderful example by not partaking in the retail madness of the season .. Gram, I believe it is you who has a quote on your fridge by some Dave Barry guy that says, “Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.” I think that whole last sentence was a run-on, don’t you? My Lit professor is always telling me to check out grammarbook.com, I think that was the name of the site.
I’ll be home for Winter break next week and then we can catch up in person – if anyone is still shopping for me, I included the following links to stuff I’ve been watching (if it’s an e-bay item, please let me know you’re watching it too because otherwise we might get into a bidding war together on December 21st and that would just be stupid).
Gotta go, the Lit 302 paper is due in six hours and I’ve got the first page written … well, maybe not the whole first page per se, but my name is typed on the top and that’s important.
[Insert Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Holidays!]
[insert your name]
Now get back to work, that Lit paper isn’t going to finish itself!
© 2008 Maria L. Pascucci / Campus Calm
About the author:
Maria Pascucci is the President of Campus Calm – the award-winning online-forum for today’s stressed-out students, and their parents and educators. Download your Student Life Stress-Less Kit with 4 FREE gifts at www.campuscalm.com.
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