Wednesday Wisdom from Meg

As many of us know, May means the beginning of summer weather and summer vacation, but before we can enjoy any of that we must survive…(cue dramatic music) FINALS WEEK! To help relieve some of the stress and pressure of finals week, I thought I’d take a fun approach to the blog this week. Below are a few of my favorite words of wisdom I seek whenever I feel stressed. I hope they inspire you to keep Campus Calm® and carry on!

…and one of my personal favorites:

 

For more words of wisdom, check out my Inspiration Pinterest Board and Campus Calm’s Perfectly Imperfect Quotes Board. It will give you a good excuse to go on Pinterest for an uplifting and empowering study break!

Happy Finals :)

-Meg Rindfleisch, Lead Her Intern, Campus Calm®

 

 

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Pillars of Fear and Walls of Perfectionism

Perfectionism is a manifestation of a thinly veiled fear: fear of judgment, fear of accusation, fear of shame, fear of not being worthy, fear of not being good enough… It suppresses us and limits our possibilities, twisting us into a knot. Perfectionism is widely encouraged in a culture which prompts fear. However, striving for something that doesn’t exist creates a belief of insurmountable aspirations.

Furthermore, perfectionism feeds on fear. The more furtive our fears are, the more they own us. The core of a fear is often concealed and most people avoid uncovering what they are profoundly afraid of. Taking time to understand your fears, and getting clear on why you’re truly scared are the first steps toward shifting your perspective and making more authentic decisions.

-Danica,
Lead Her Intern, Campus Calm®

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Wendy’s World: Sexual Harassment Abroad

For the past few months, I have been living and studying abroad in Jordan, and it has been an amazing experience thus far.  I love the culture, the people, and the food, but of course, no place is perfect.  One of the biggest obstacles that I have faced during my time here is dealing with sexual harassment and assault.  Sexual harassment and assault is something found not just in the Middle East but in all nations.  However, I have learned that it manifests itself differently depending on the context and understanding the culture or societal expectations can help decrease this amount.  Here are just a few tips to keep in mind when travelling abroad:

- Research as much as you can about the culture before arriving.  The smallest act in one country could have huge implications in another nation.  For instance, a simple handshake when you meet somebody new or greet a friend who happens to be of the opposite gender is very normal in America, but in Jordan, this act signals that you are romantically interested in the other person.  In some circumstances, if a woman accepts a handshake from a man, she may even be associated with the idea of having looser values or morals.

- I can’t say this for all of America, but for the parts that I am familiar with, most people are very friendly.  If a person talks to me, it’s rude if I don’t answer them back, regardless of their demographics.  However, when a man tries to talk to me in Jordan, especially an older man, I have learned to just ignore him and walk away or to blatantly gather my belongings and move to another area.  When I first began doing this, I felt quite bad, but I came to realize that there is no reason why an older man should be talking to me—a clearly young and foreign woman.  If he needs help, he has other resources such as his phone or the other people around us.  Furthermore, he probably knows that his actions are inappropriate.  I don’t want to generalize and say that all settings call for this type of action, but if there is a situation in which a man seems strangely very interested in you, just walk away and don’t feel bad.  Trust your instincts and remember that your safety is more important.   

- When you are in a different and new culture, consider dressing more conservatively than normal until you are better acquainted with the social expectations.  In some areas, foreigners will be given more leeway if they do not follow all of the expected social practices and in other areas, they will be subjected to even greater harassment. 

- Most importantly though, remember that whatever you are doing, you do not deserve any form of sexual harassment or assault.  You are not signaling anything that asks, calls, or justifies it.  Sexual harassment and assault is inappropriate and just wrong.  Although the tips above may help decrease the amount of harassment you may receive, they are not a cure and they may not even help at all in some instances.  I have witnessed women completely veiled and still receiving crude remarks from men on the street.  Thus, remember that all forms of sexual harassment and assault are unjustified.  You are never the reason.  You are not the person at fault.  You are not the one to blame, and especially, do not blame or guilt yourself.

If you have any other tips to add, please do so!

–Wendy Tran

Lead Her Intern, Campus Calm®

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Keep Campus Calm® and Carry On During Final Exams and Crunch Time!

-Q&A with Maria Pascucci, Founder & President, Campus Calm®

Q: What can students do to increase their concentration and focus during these extremely stressful periods?

Answer:

  • Eat healthy, whole foods and drink plenty of water to keep energy levels up and your brain functioning at peak capacity. Consider snacking on fruits and veggies, nuts, whole grains, dairy and even fish. Mom may be a pain sometimes but she’s right: Whole grain crackers and almond butter with a class of milk will help you concentrate far better than any candy bar or sugary energy drink ever could!
  • Take short breaks every 30 minutes to retain information better. Cramming doesn’t lead to retention of information; it just leads to exhaustion and stress.
  • Study with a buddy. If you’re lucky to have a friend who can help you study without getting sidetracked, partner up. Quiz each other every 20 minutes or so. Talk your way through difficult subject matter. Motivate each other to take those short breaks so you can refresh, recharge and retain what you’re studying. Be each other’s rocks so you don’t drown in a sea of pressure.

This is what I would tell my younger self during periods of heightened exam stress: If you view your high school and college experience as a way to develop your unique skills and find out what makes YOU happy in life, and not just as a way to build your success portfolio, a grade becomes exactly what it’s supposed to be: a measure of your knowledge in a particular subject—not a way to gauge your self-worth.

Bottom line: Never forget that you are more than a test score.

Q: Is there any quick advice for shutting off the feelings of “I’m so overwhelmed” and “I can’t do this”—for example, in the middle of a study session? How can you calm yourself down?

A: If you find yourself in meltdown mode during a study session:

  • Focus inward to observe your thoughts. What are you saying to yourself? Is your inner perfectionist talking smack and giving it to you good?
  • Once you observe your thoughts and determine that they are leading you to a very unhealthy place, you can choose to immediately say, “STOP” out loud (unless you’re in the middle of a crowded library!)
  • Consider saying out loud in a calming tone so you can hear yourself: “You can do this. You’re strong, and smart and I believe in you. Just concentrate on one thing at a time.” When you begin studying again, focus only on what you’re learning. Choose to get curious. Don’t focus your attention on the resulting grade you hope to get on the exam. Just focus on soaking up new knowledge.
  • Take four or five very deep breaths and continue focusing on your body’s sensations.
  • If you notice any limiting thoughts creeping back up, immediately start saying, “Everything will be ok. You can do this. You can do anything you believe you can do.”

Remember: No single test score or semester grade can define you or validate your potential for success. You validate you. You choose to believe that you’re talented, beautiful, creative and intelligent and then you go out there and make things happen!

Begin where you are and remember that each time you take steps to ditch your inner critic by silencing his/her “catastrophizing” thoughts, you’re moving a step closer toward a loving relationship with yourself, and it will get easier each time you work at it.

Q: How can we help students understand the importance of sleep? Is it more important than cramming?

A: This is what I wish I could tell my younger self: Sleep is a necessity. It is not a luxury that’s meant to be earned.

According to the latest available figures from the American College Health Association’s National College Health Assessment, stress, sleep difficulties and anxiety are the top three life issues that students say affects their individual academic performance.

As someone who experienced my own fair share of sleep difficulties as a student, I can tell you that cramming and pulling all-nighters is a recipe for stress and anxiety, which can compromise your health, and your college experience. If you do prioritize sleep into your schedule, but you find yourself too stressed out to fall asleep or stay asleep, click here for my ideas and suggestions.

Bottom line: Sleep saves time. When you’re energized during the day, you can retain more information during study sessions in less time than – say – if you’re stumbling around campus at 2 o’clock in the afternoon in pursuit of your third cup of joe from Starbucks. Think of the money you will save in coffee costs too!

Words to remember: Success starts with self-love. Love yourself enough to give your body the rest that it needs. Your body will love you right back by giving you more energy, strength and endurance to perform during exam time, every time!

How do you keep calm and manage the pressure of finals? Leave me a comment below!

-Maria Pascucci
Founder & President
Campus Calm®

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How would your life change if you were happy?

Illustration: Andrew Joyner

As one male student wrote to me: “I’ve been to a ton of leadership conferences that taught me how to get good grades, find a good job and make money, but your presentation was the first time someone taught me how to be happy.” When you develop a happy, strong sense of self and purpose as a leader, you may be surprised to find that everything else naturally falls into place. True growth happens from the inside out.

-Maria Pascucci
Founder & President
Campus Calm®

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