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Veronica Bassano,
16, is a model student. She gets good grades; she's involved in lots of
extracurricular activities and has big dreams for the future. She plans
to apply to an art school for college. Not just any art school though
- her heart is set on the Rhode Island School of Design, the University
of Chicago or Yale. She knows she has to master the SAT to get accepted
into these prestigious colleges and she's prepared to take them as many
times as it takes to get the score she desires.
"I'm not looking for perfection, just good enough, better than good,"
says the Lancaster Central High School junior whose grades currently range
from the mid to high 90s. This ambitious teen is under lots of pressure
though - the pressure to get good grades, the pressure to compete for
college acceptance and the pressure to live up to her parents', her friends'
and her own lofty expectations.
All that pressure can be a little overwhelming. When Veronica gets less
than an "A" on a test or an essay, she says she has to coach
herself to remain positive. She admits that a few times she's started
crying. "I tell myself, "It's OK, you have to go onto the next
class and concentrate.'" Veronica enjoys competition and becomes
upset if she's not achieving top grades along with her friends. "I
feel like I'm not adequate," she says. "I have friends who are
at the top of the class so I feel like I'm not up to where they are. Sometimes,
I feel not as intelligent or not as good as I should be."
Rachel Delamater, 17, also a junior at Lancaster in Buffalo, New York,
agrees. "The class list comes out and shows who's on the top and
you try so hard to be in the top 20," she says. "The top 15,
all their averages are at least 100." On occasion, Rachel says she
lets anxiety get the best of her. Sometimes when she's studying, she'll
say, "I don't get this, I'll never remember this for the test. What
about the SATs? I'll never get into college. I'll never be successful."
Stressed-out students
These two teens are not alone. According to the 2005-2006 "State
of Our Nation's Youth" report findings that were released by the
Horatio Alger Association, 41 percent of high school students said that
the pressure to get good grades was a major concern. These numbers have
increased by 15 percent since 2001.
"Students in all school districts should always be made to feel that
their worth is more than just the numbers that they earn," says Lynn
Kawa, guidance counselor for Sweet Home High School in Amherst, New York.
If a student is freaking out about one bad grade on a test, she will work
with them. "I would initially listen to the student's concerns about
the grade," she says. "I would talk with him or her about the
overall impact that one grade may have on the final grade for the course,
or the student's overall grade point average. With the next assignment
or test brings a chance to improve upon the previous grade."
Not every student stresses over every grade though. Rachel believes that
being well-rounded helps her to put grades in perspective. "I'm in
clubs and play sports," she says. "If I'm not the top science
person I can always say, "I'm good in English.' And with electives,
I can focus more on what I like."
"Not everybody is going to get 4.0s because that's impossible,"
says Denise Clark Pope, author of the 2001 book Doing
School: How We Are Creating a Generation of Stressed-Out, Materialistic,
and Miseducated Students." Pope works with Stanford University's
School of Education in California and has helped to develop community
awareness of student stress through a program called SOS: Stressed Out
Students: Helping to Improve Health, School Engagement, and Academic Integrity.
Pope challenges students to think about what makes a human being successful.
"If getting a perfect GPA is one of those things," she says,
"what's been left off that list like being a kind friend, and being
a supportive family member, enjoying life, being healthy and taking the
time to take care of your body?"
"My English teacher is always telling students not to worry about
grades," says Veronica. "If you become a better reader or a
better writer, he'll give you a good grade. We have to show him we want
to learn." Her AP American History teacher also encourages students
to look at the bigger picture. "He says, "If you fail a test,
it's OK, just keep learning.'" Rachel adds: "It's OK to be happy
with 80s sometimes because 80s aren't bad."
Tips to depressurize
If you have three finals coming up and two essays due, you're undoubtedly
stressed. But stressing out to the point of stomachaches or insomnia is
definitely not cool.
"Exercise is the best stress reliever," says Veronica. She plays
sports and walks her dog in the park with her mom in the winter. "That
helps a lot," she says. She says that yoga, Pilates or listening
to music are also great but so is anything that works for any individual
student. "Take an hour or a half hour or however long your schedule
permits and do whatever you want," advises Veronica. "Don't
worry about anything. Go talk to your friends, use the computer, and watch
TV - anything so you're not focused on grades."
If you have a big test to study for, Veronica recommends taking small
breaks at 20-minute intervals. "There's a timer on my microwave that
I set for 20 minutes and once it goes off I will stop completely even
if I'm in the middle of something and I take a five-minute break,"
she says. "I'll get up and get a glass of water and then I'll set
it for another 20 minutes."
For Rachel, it's all about the music. "When I stress out over homework,
I just put on a CD and then I'm good and then I go back to it and I'm
like, "All right, this isn't so bad. I can do this.'" For the
love of learning Veronica had the option to take other AP classes besides
American History but instead chose to take an art elective. "I decided
that if I really want to go for art, I should take a class I'm going to
like," she says. "If I had taken more AP classes, I wouldn't
have had a lunch and my parents told me I needed lunch for the break."
For the love of learning
Many students overload their schedules with AP classes and compete for
top grades to get into the best colleges, believing that the college will
make all the difference in determining future success. "There's a
huge misconception that you need to go to a top-tier college to be successful
in life," says Pope. "College is a match, not a trophy. It's
the kid, not the school, that makes the difference."
"Everyone stresses college, college, college," Rachel adds.
"If you want to take a year off, everyone's like, "You can't
do that.' If you take time off, you're labeled a bum." Although Rachel
plans to attend college, she recognizes that college isn't the answer
for everyone. "My mom always says, "Well, not every one is meant
for college.'"
For Rachel, learning is all about personal growth. "Everyone always
says, "You're never going to need this when you grow up,'" she
says. "So just take it and it's something extra you can know. On
"Jeopardy,' a question will come up and you can be like, "I
know this!' and it will make you feel better about yourself. It's all
an opportunity to learn something new."
© 2007 Maria L. Pascucci / originally published in The Buffalo
News
About the author:
Maria Pascucci is the President of Campus Calm - the award-winning online-forum for today's stressed-out students, and their parents and educators. Download your Student Life Stress-Less Kit with 4 FREE gifts at www.campuscalm.com.
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